I was wrong...

Sometimes you have to wonder why certain things are presented to you, and more, why you take them.. I have had wonderful adventures and although I dont want them to end I feel contented. Its not a bad thing, it just means I have evolved and I no longer wish to be surrounded by people that just want to smoke dope and drink. I have had enough. I want to find the one. I thought I found him but I was wrong. I thought I found a peace that I never longed for. All of a sudden I understood why people want for that life. To be married and have babies.. It seems to work when you find the person you think it can work with. But I was wrong..

Your own advice..

I cant believe how I love this man, even when he drives me insane. Its hard to imagine you can be so close to someone that their essense controls and confirms your very being. I cant explain it. In theory I should tell someone to watch out, but I cant advise myself the same. I make allowances for things that are not OK.

Waiting

Im back in London. We left Ireland Yesterday I planned to stay there but I couldnt do it, I couldnt leave him. So now here I am, im back in London and I dont know what im doing. I have spent the last few months waiting - waiting for something. Waiting for him. And im sick of it. Its not right. To let someone consume you.