Timeing is everything

God damm he is high maintenance. Ive never had anyone like that before. Its driving me insane.

Why is it that every relationship I have been in, one of us has not been ready for the other...

Direction

Im curled up in his arms and all I can think is what am I doing? How did I end up here - and why do they always find me? Am I ever really looking? ..No. Im sure they find me. I am not one of these girls that longs to be loved. Im a hopeless romantic I know this, but I am not searching for just any love, Im looking for the right one. And im justified because I was thorough when I was looking for him.

I know it bothers him that I have had other lovers but what am I to do. I cant change it, and I wont apologise for it. I am the person I am because of those experiences.

I feel weird for the new direction in my life. I dont know what the fuck I should do? Im the most torn I think I have ever been - Do I stay or go? My natural instinct is to bail..

When I look into those blue eyes though..

Summer

So im at a crossroads again. I will finish my job next week and I really dont know if I want to stay in London. I hate it here. The only appealing thing about London at the moment is the fact that my boys here and that the weather is lovely. I have spent far too may years in London and Im totally done. Summer is coming and where I am going to be for it I dont know..